Tag

If you're a guy- post this as my kind of girl.
If you're a girl- post it as my kind of boy.


1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
Nah.

2. Smart?
Yeah okay.

3. Preferred age?
Any age will do.

4. Preferred height?
Hmm. Tall?

5. How about sense of humor?
Definitely!

6. How about piercings?
They're sexy :)

7. Accepts you for who you are?
Of course! And im one hard person to be accepted.

8. Pink hair?
Er probably no?

9. Mushy or no?
Mushy? Wth?

10. Thin or fat?
Dont matter :)

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
For a second i was thinking something dirty but yeah even rainbow would be perfectly fine :)

12. Long hair or short hair?
Dont mind :)

13. Plastic or metal? * cute or pretty ?
Why plastic? Metal? o_o I dont get this.

14. Smells good?
Mmhmm

15. Smoker?
LOL. I dont like smokers. Dont like smoking. But. Heh. x)

16. Drinker?
No hardcore alcoholics. Thats it.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Cool :)

18. Muscular?
Abs would be very nice :)

19. Plays piano?
Thats hot.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
Im a sucker for boys with guitars :)

21. Plays violin?
Dont matter.

22. Sings very good?
Hahaha. Dont matter.

23. Vain?
Depends.

24. With glasses?
No problem.

25. With braces?
Thats cute :)

26. Shy type?
Aww :) But nah, dont work well with my personality.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Rebel! :)

28. Active or passive?
Both?

29. Tight or bomb? * hot or sexy ?
How about sweet?

30. Singer or dancer?
Dancer :)

31. stunner?
Dont matter.

32. Hiphop?
Okay?

33. Earrings?
Sexy :)

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
Fuck NO.

35. Dimples?
Gah! :)

36. Bookworm?
Dont matter.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
Definitely. I'd love to receive something in writing :)

38. Playful?
YES!

39. Flirt?
Just with me.

40. Poem writer?
Sure :D

41. Serious?
Yes.

42. Campus crush?
No.

43. Painter?
Dont matter.

44. Religious?
Not an extremist then okay.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
YES. :)

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak
Dont matter :)

47. Speaks 20 languages?
Thats hot.

48. Loyal or faithful?
Everything please?

49. good kisser?
Most definitely.

50. emotional or cool ?
Both depending on situations.



Dont ask me why im doing tags all of a sudden. -.-

Change

- I used to scorn people in love. Bigtime.

I hated love scenes, all gooey and iloveyousoverymuchicantlivewithoutyou senarios. I even go to the extent of thinking people who 'fall in love' are weak. Because they cant live independently. They need a support system. Losers i labelled them. Yeah i couldnt understand what the hype was about. Really? You're in love? You'd die for that person? Oh yeah sureee. I'd give you 2 months maximum and that relationship is going to be over. Are you gonna kill yourself then?

Yeap i was all high and mighty about not falling in love. I was proud that i was a loner. Every single guy that came my way i stepped on them with my shoe like they were nothing. I convinced myself i didnt need them. Not anyone. And people who just 'think they're in love' deserved their painful breakup afterwards. I sound so sadistic. Goshhh. But thats the real truth. :X That was what i perceived, what i felt. That was my reason which i hid behind. Just because i wasnt strong enough to open my heart, allowed it to be vulnerable, locked it with myself so no one can touch me; I convinced myself that i was just being strong, independently. That i was the one coming out on top. Wow what a loser :)

It really isnt like that at all isnt it? Its so much more complicated than that now i realised. I used to laugh at people after breakups like a "HAH! I told you so!" moment. But really im the one everyone should be laughing at. So naive. So quick to judge. I always thought i was open minded but really i was the narrow minded one. Because falling in love is never a mistake. Because falling in love doesnt mean you cant live independently. Because falling in love just means there's something in this person thats just for you. You have found something in this person that is yours. Of course there are all kinds of love. You may fall in love and something just happens along the way that made the relationship fail. Doesnt matter, on with the next one. You'll fall in love again.

And then there is THAT kind of love which is stronger beyond the imagination. For me, I dont refer to it as 'being in love' of any kind. Its so much stronger than love. There are no words to describe it. To put it into a word in English, I'll have to settle on 'soulmates'. Only a lucky 5% maybe, will ever find that one person that truly just belongs to you.

And i finally understood all those love movies. Even one time i was watching House on Axn, just 4 words she said to him. "Hey, I love you." No bouquets of roses everywhere, no diamond ring, no tacky background orchestra, no fancy restaurant, no sexual tension, nothing. Just a plain, simple, honest from the soul I love you. 4 words and i cried for half an hour. That moment just touched me so much. Yeah how much Ive changed. Lol. Usually when it comes to those kinds of scenes, i roll my eyes and change the channel. Then mumble to myself about the predictability of it all. Heh. Epic. And my mom watching the show with me would demand i change it back and commented i will die a spinster. Bless her. I love her so much. :)

So what brought this on you ask? Hmm i was just feeling a little emotional. No surprise *rolls eyes* and I felt like writing it out. I dont know. Its just something bout seeing things in writing and writing it out that makes me calm down. Or make me burst into tears, either one. But this time it was therapeutic. And it was just something that was on my mind thats all. :] Something i was wondering about. Hmm anyhoo, its just past 2.30am Malaysian time. Which means GERMANY MATCH IS ON :D Yeah support Germany people! :) England just made it through to Top 16. Sad case about Slovenia though. :/ I feel for them man. Really i do. So im off. To watch the match. :) Its like im the only one who watches full matches among my family. Awesome :D

Oh, ponder.

xoxo

Quote: What is love?

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine

Quote

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

- Rumi

Quote

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.

-- Robert Fulghum

Living.

So you may have noticed i changed my blog layout (: Why? Oh no reason. Was just playing around with the new blogger template designs and thought to myself this template looks pretty cool. (: And the rest was history! Plus it was pink so :D Muahhahaha. Had to of course reconfigure my chatbox and statcounter to go with the theme. Didnt turn out too well but heck. I think its okie dokie for a mediocre bloggie.


Yeah, that rhymed :) Woohoo im awesome :D



Spain vs Honduras match going on. (Did i spell that right?) Anyway going off to catch the rest of the match. Let Spain be out, let spain be out :D And Germany into the finals. Weeee! And England into quarter finals atleast x) Lol.



Do we live in the physical world we can touch, or do we live in the world we create in our minds and touch with our hearts? Or do we live in both? And if so where do we draw the line between living in reality and real living?


Ponder.
xoxo

Okay i was feeling i little bit poetic, so yeah.

I want to hear your silence
When you finally discover the truth.
I want to whisper nothings
into the night with you.

I want to say Im sorry
for not being your best.
But I want us to be different
to be the ones who last.

I dont want a million things
that im sure you can give me.
And I dont need a million reasons
about His plans for me.

All i need more than ever
is the sound of your voice
the touch of your skin
the answer of my choice.

The rush of guilty pleasure
the silence of your breath.
A love no one can measure
in a brush of passioned perfect lips.

And i want to hear your silence
when you finally discover the truth.
To cry tears of love when i say
i simply cannot and will not live without you.

Houston, may i please please please leave this building?

I was under reconstruction
and then terrorists came
and attacked my building.

Just perfect.




Okay if you did not just get me, it means i was having my period and to top it all i fell sick. And my sinus is giving me these annoying headaches. So after much MUCH deliberation, i stayed in bed for 2 days. Skipping the prom meeeting on Friday and my piano, guitar & ballet class on Saturday. Ditching Embrys and her boyrfriend and the others at karaoke on saturday as well.


I do not like skipping. I rarely skipped anything ):


But I did. And thank God i did because im a flowing water tap. Box of tissues beside me and i cant stop sneezing. Gross. How do you like me now? D: And to kill time, i watched Sex and the City. No not Sex and the City 2, but Sex and the City as in the first one. Yeah. And i got all awww and emotional and cried a fair bit at a few parts of the movie. As if i didnt have enough fluids coming out from different holes of my body already. (Excuse the disgustingness) Yeah im a mess and i look like a mess.


And why am i ranting? Because im pissed off at being sick. Pissed off at being an invalid. Pissed off with feeling cold then hot then cold again. Am i developing a fever? Ah fuck. Pissed off with having a difficult and painful period this time. Yeah did i mention painful? D: Arghhhh.


Its 1.15am Sunday morning. Yeah its sunday. I dont want to stay home on Sunday ): I dont want 3rd day of bedrest. Im soo restless I want to go out. But i dont want to be a flowing water tap in public. Makeup might make me look more presentable but i dont want to wear makeup because im lazy to remove it afterwards. But but arghhhhh. )':



@#Q^%!RE^&%TY!*@E&!*E&!@^#%&!



I want to go ice skating.


):


Yeah very funny. Start laughing. This is the part exactly where you'll call me an idiot and go on a 3 minute long rant about me being a dumbass. Love it. :)


Oh and dont get me started on the pills. D: I am BAD at taking pills. Cant swallow. Takes me forever. Amoxycilin is quite alright, but anything rounder and bigger there's a problem. Panadols take me a full cup of water plus half a cup more to wash the taste down. (Yes, i bite the pill into pieces) But thats the only way i can get it in. So yeah being sick for me is a huge problem. And my mouth currently smells of bad breath and strepsils losenges. Fucking eww.


So yeah. Im pissed at being sick. So pissed till i have to complain about it to the world. And all i want right now is an undeserved hug ): Sigh fuck this. xx


And happy father's day! Lol.


xoxo

Kiss my ass goodbye :D Im off for Char Koay Teow baby!

Hello world! :)


In continuation of my previous posts' obessession with Gil Ofarim's version of Its Your Love, i am currently learning how to play the song on guitar. Woohoo. Pretty simple actually. Easy chords to play but being the noob that i am it'll take me ages before i could get it down pat (: Muahahahah. But still, its a very orgasmic experience i tell you :D Brings out the emo queen in me. In a good way, mind. Heh


So what else? Hmmm. Oh yeah i bought new bras and undies :D Weeee! It all started out with Madeline & Denissa boasting about buying new bras. *envious* Then Embrys followed suit and bought some bras as well. Yellow with flowers or something like that. == Idk. Soooo feeling left out, i went out and bought some :D hahahhaha. Nahh kidding. Im not that big of an idiot. I really did need some new ones :) So. Yeah. Rm150 worth from Triumph! Thank you mommy :) And yeah i know. Do i really need to write this out to the world? You must be thinking:


You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.


Woots! Yeah i can but YOU cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give to the fuck YOU do not give :D HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And so on and so on :) LOL! I know, i have completely lost it. Muahahhahaa.


(Its a facebook group by the way. Join join join! :D )


http://www.facebook.com/pages/You-cannot-fathom-the-immensity-of-the-fuck-i-do-not-give/128249450523055



Anyway moving on from my sudden hyperialismness *dont bother googling, i made that up* I'll be leaving for Penang in lets see. 1, 2, 3, no- 4 hours time! Why in the world im going all the way up there? Well mommy, brother and uncle wanted to go EAT. *facepalms* Awesomeness. So yeah they made it into a family trip. Even Toa Ee & Uncle Al from Singapore will be joining us. Driving all the way from one end to the other of West Malaysia. LOL. Naiceee :D So right now, everyone is asleep in my house. The usual. Except me of course. Not planning to sleep. Already slept for 8 hours this morning till afternoon so no point :/ And everyone is all packed and ready. Except me. The usual. :/


Hmmm.


And i need to do a few things before i leave. Like BATHE :D Nyahahahaha. And wash my hair. Its getting greasy. Urgh yuck. And shave my legs :) because im planning on wearing a black mini later. With white heels. And long sleeved blue top i just bought from FOS last Sunday :)


Blueeeeeeee :))))


And long sleeved! \m/ Such a goody girl. Daddy will love me i bet you. Like forever. His little girl has finally learned how to dress decently. Yeah its my first long sleeved top since i was like 11. Lol. I'll shock him into silence (:


Blacccckkkkkkkk :))))


*my background is black so of course i had to use grey or you wont be able to read the word lol*


Dont mind me. I do not plan to explain. So yeah :) Oh and i have to talk to my dogs as well. :/ Explain to them im leaving for 3 days. So that they know. Poor thing, she gets real upset everytime i leave :( She wont eat and she'll wait for me at the front door till i get home. :( So loyal. So silly. I love that bitch. Whaaaat? Dont look at me like that. Like you dont talk to your dogs. Geez. And i have 7 i have to talk to. Not easy okaaaay. I'll have to face their little faces before i leave. Almost makes me dont wanna leave at all. :/ Almost. Gah.




And oh i was supposed to post up some pictures from the Charm Cheerleading Championships but i got reaaaal lazy so for pictures just go to http://glittercookies.blogspot.com ! :) Hehehe



Okay thats it for now. I gotta go get my things ready or my family will shout till the roof collapses if im not ready to leave later. LOL. Vicious things they are i tell you x( No joke. But good thing is im bringing my lappy along together with my P1 Wimax wiggy :D Weeee. That thing is too adorable i tell you. Love it.

Soooo make sure you miss me. Make sure you bug my cellphone non stop. And tell me that you miss me. LOL :) And i will love you forever :D HAHAHHAA. Kidding. Not that desperate. And this is a good time to again, say YOU CANNOT FATHOM THE IMMENSITY OF THE FUCK I DO NOT GIVE :D Woohoooo! See ya! xx



3 days. will. kill. me. But Im holding on to our promise :)
And not fall into the ocean or get run over by hungry tourists.
AHHAHAHHAHA.

Ich liebe dich!
xoxo



Oh oh oh oh! HAPPY WORLD CUP FEVER Y'ALL! :D Support Germany & England people! :) Come on, dont be bastards. Support, support, support! :D xx

Es ist deine lieber

I am supposed to send in my offer letter from the University of Nottingham but i seem to have misplaced it. Oh joy :) Lets hope my maid didnt throw it away with all the other junk mail. LOL.


Anyway recently i came across my old time favourite song again that i just used to be so obsessed with when i was much younger. And yeah of course i was obsessed with the singer as well because i think he's just too beautiful :) And that voice! Rough around the edges. Sexy! ;)


Gil Ofarim - Its your love :)





I think the original singers were Tim McGraw & Faith Hill. Which they sang awesomely of course. But i like Gil's version better. Again, that roughness in his voice just urghhh. Captures the lyrics and melody perfectly i think. Everything is more intense somehow. And those eyes, you can get lost in them anyday. Plus he has gorgeous hair in the video! And the blue he was wearing compliments him extremely :) But uhhhh. Did i mention HIS VOICE? :DD I could listen to him all day. Forgive me, i was but a little girl after all with extremely big dreams, convinced that owning celebrities isnt an impossible thing at all. Nuh-uh :) Poor child.


Poor sick child :)



Oh and did i mention my new favourite colour is blue? :D And soft brown :) Dont ask. Hehehehehhe. Lol.



Dancin' in the dark
middle of the night.
Takin' your heart
holdin' it tight.
Emotional touch,
Touchin' my skin
Askin' you to do
what you've been doin'
all over again.
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I've just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go


It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
And if you wonder
'bout the spell I'm under
It's your love.


Better than I was,
More than I am.
All of that happened
By takin' your hand.
Who I am now
Is who I've wanted to be.
Now that we're together
Stronger than ever, happy and free.
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in.
And if you ask me why I'll change
All I gotta do is say your sweet name.


It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
And if you wonder
'bout the spell I'm under
Its your love.



Yeah baby, its your love :)
xoxo

Cheeeeer!

Seems like everyone's falling in love these days. Tsk tsk :)

You two know who you are *cough* :P

Anyway, yesterday i went for the CHARM CHEERLEADING CHAMPIONSHIPS, better known as C3 at 1Utama. Took public transport there with Madeline, *we looked so lost -.- but we got there in the end* (: It took us like 2 hours from the Kajang Ktm Station. Urghh. The performances were great! Awesome work from Blitzerz (they won the International Stunt Group Category), Rebels, Team Rainbow from Thailand (all boys team, definitely crowd favourites :P), Povedance from Philipines, team Awesome in the cheer dance category, Zenith (also in cheer dance category; that Malay dude with the blonde hair is hawt O:) and CHARM (team Malaysia).

Cheered for all the teams there although initially we went to support Blitzerz. Met up with Mr. Serge Norguard, blogger extraordinaire :P LOL and Nissa too after lunch break.

Oh and all three of us bought CHEER shorts (: Nyehehehehe.

I miss cheerleading soo badly ): Ariff called it my one and only boyfriend. HAHAHHAHA. And Embrys called me a babi hutan ): Ahh well. More pictures soon! Till next post (:

xoxo

Tiefer fallen

Feet fingers :)


hehehhehehe


You're sooo cute sometimes you know that?


Ich liebe dich :)
xoxo

Guitarrrrr! (:

This is my white Morrison guitar. Gift from mommy (: I love it! hehehe

Thanks mom! (:

xoxo

When you can be strong for me, it is only fair that I do the same for you. No matter how much i try to hide.

xoxo

Baby, I wanna fall in love with you again :)

Lets pretend baby,
That you've just met me.
And I've never seen you before.
I'll tell all my friends
That i think you're staring
and you say the same to yours.

And oh, we'll dance around it all night
And then I'll follow you outside
And try to open up my mouth
And nothing comes out right.

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I dont have to try
It's so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again.

I'll call you in three days
Not too soon and not too late
And I'll ask your roommate if you're home
You call me on Thursday
And we'll hang out all day
Then fall asleep on the phone.

And oh, I'll hold your hand when we drive
And we'll lose track of all the time
And we'll tell everyone
that we aint never felt so alive

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I dont have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again.

We'll fall disgustingly fast
And we'll stop hanging out with friends
And they'll be so offended.

And i wanna fall in love with you again
I dont have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again.
Lets just fall in love again.



:)



Jason Castro - Lets just fall in love again.


xoxo

Eighteeeeeeeen :)

Being eighteen definitely rocks! :) I can honestly, officially say that yesterday was the best birthday I've ever had. It was a roller coaster ride emotionally. I got to spend it with the people that i love the most. Thank you for the hundreds of wishes on facebook! And dozens of texts and face to face wishes. Most of all, thank YOU for calling. I really appreciated that. Although it went in a whole different direction than expected. But thank you! It still made my day like every single day. Thank you for putting up with me. And im sorry for ruining everything.


Anywaaaaay, I love you all :) Thank you for the presents! Thank you mom for the awesome WHITE Morrison acoustic guitar! ;) And thank you Embrys, Denissa, Madeline, Ashok, YanYang, FuWai and CheeZhao for celebrating with me :) hehehe.



And oh did you hear? I got my best friend back :)




Song of the moment: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris


And i'd give up forever to touch you
cuz i know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And i dont want to go home right now.


xoxo

Hyperialism. I made that up heh :D

I am smiling from ear to ear and all around my head :D There are a number of reasons why i cant stop smiling but they are not for you to know :D I just cant stop smilingggg! im sooo happy! hehehehehhehe. Gosh i cant concentrate on anythinggg. Im sure Denissa and Embrys understands ;D HOR HOR? Hahahahahhaa. This 2 days i've been crazy! If im like this everyday then gone lah :D GONEEEE. Ahhhh i cant work like this! I cant do anythingggg except feed my fish in Fishville :D LOLOLOLOL. I named one of it Embrys :D But too bad i already sold you :D \m/ Woots!


HEHEHEHEHEHHE.


Lol no reason i just feel like laughing and giggling :D Ahhhhhhh! *rolls around on the bed* Weeeeeeeee! I feel like giving someone a veryyy biiigggg hugggg! :)))))


*rolls around some more*


Gosh im so hyperrr! Hahhahahaha. Okay okay stop it Sylvia! You're being very silly. But.... Who fucking caressss :DDDDD Nyehehehhehehehe! Okay okay enough for one post. My fish are dying. I have to go feed them. LOL. Such a LAME excuse :D \m/


2 more hours till im officially eighteen :) Legalismnity here i comeeee! :D *Okay i made up that word, dont bother googling that*


:D


I love you bitches, whores, gays and bastards!
xoxo

In 2 days

Its 2 days until i turn 18 and become officially LEGAL (: I cant believe im THAT old. And everyone knows i do not act like an eighteen year old should :/ Plus it sounds sooo old! But being eighteen isnt so bad i guess. I mean, I've gotten my license and all :D Okay okay I'll cut to the chase. The reason i posted this blog is because...


I GOT A NEW LAPTOP AND HANDPHONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!


:D


:D


:D


Yes, im typing all this on my new lappy. Muahahhahaha. And i feel like telling the whole world :D Im sooo happy! hahhahaha. *laughs histerically*



YAYYYYYYY! :D



Now all thats left is for dad to get me a car :) Which he said he would :) For my birthday :) I just dont know when yet :) LOL. Im not fussy about getting a car. Just give me an auto that moves, brakes and reverses. Done. As long as it takes me places :) You can go maaaany places with a car! :) Like to college, dance classes, shopping malls, friends' place, grandma's place, uncle's place, YOUR place 0:) hehehe. Just, not a Kancil. Please. God, pleaseeee.



Okay smiley overload. Im waaaay too excited. Heh :D


*pause*
-Okay wtf. My dog is humping my leg. *facepalm* I guess she's waaay excited too :/ Yeah, she's FEMALE. *double facepalm*



Anyway, i wanna thank daddy for getting me this lappy! :)))) And also my grandma, uncle Keith and Aunt Jaymee for getting me my new PINK phone! :)))) Yes, you heard, i mean, READ right -PINK! :D Muahahahhaa. I loveee it! Thanks guys :)


-Okay now she's humping my other leg -_- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BITCH? I wish Embrys was here :/ She loves humping Embrys :)) hehehhe GOSH. WTF. GET OFFFFFFF D: DUDEEEEE. HELP IM BEING RAPED. LOL HAHAHHAHAA. WTF. SHE IS NOT STOPPING! LOLOLOL. I love that bitch :)



Weeeee! Goodnight peeps! :D
xoxo

Nobody pays any attention to post titles anyway :D

Today i sang my heart out with some awesome people :D Went for a much needed karaoke session with Embrys, Ashok, FuWai, YanYang, VinZhen, and CheeZhao. We went right after school time. So most of them were in their school uniforms and they didnt allow us in :/ hmph. So we hopped into VinZhen's and CheeZhao's cars and drove to FuWai's place where Ashok & Embrys borrowed shirts to change. And then FuWai accidentally locked himself out of his house -.- *facepalm* LOL. Anyway we had a good time :) 3 hours of 'singing' heh :D Yeah, 'singing'. Lol. We all know Embrys and I cant sing. Actually all of us sucked pretty badly except for FuWai who could sing every single song there is. From chinese, to malay to English, from rapping to those fucking high unreachable notes. *respect* :) Had lots of fun, laughed my ass off, blatant flirting going on with Yanyang & Embrys *tsk tsk* 0:) You two need to get a room! Anyway it was nice getting to know them a lil bit better. In fact, we should do this every week :D heh. Im kidding lah dudes. Unless you really want to? :D

xoxo

Details, details :)

Hello hello :)


So i just woke up. And im feeling AWESOME!
Better than ever :)
All because of YOU mostly :)

hehehe


Surprisingly, im looking forward to the future. For the first time, excited on what may or may not happen. Its not about expecting good things or whatever to come, im just simply excited. :D Like a wayward hot air balloon. LOL.


I feel happy.
I feel free.
I feel positive.


Best of all, I've never felt more like ME. *two thumbs up*

:D


Another thing im looking forward to, LATIN BALLROOM CLASS TONIGHT :D \m/ Woots! Seriously, i need a partner :/ Anyone interested? :D


Which reminds me. Shit i need to practise! I have been neglecting latin for 2 weeks now. Due to my ballet exams. I miss wearing my heels! :') Oh and i need to practise my guitar as well. All those chords :O Not to mention i have 2 pieces to practice and prepare for piano. And also prepare for my piano theory exam this September. Speaking of September, i have Advance 1 RAD ballet exam o_o And college starts in July. Plus latin ballroom exam this June. o_o Damn i really have lotsa stuff to do! But it seems I've been doing nothing as usual :/ Not practicing. Heh. *slaps self* YOU NEED TO CHANGE WOMAN.



*grabs bro's guitar*



Now excuse me while i headbang (: Rockon!


xoxo

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for" -Bob Marley.

The silence keeps it easy
keeps you safe for the moment.
As you're walking away
your footsteps get louder.
All you needed was time
and now time will destroy us.

It will all be over and here we are
we're stuck inside this salted earth together.
You'll pierce my lungs.
My limbs go numb
as my colours fade out.

You watch me bleed, you watch me bleed.


- Scary Kids Scaring Kids, You Watch Me Bleed.


I love that song :) heh.


Today i went out.
Today i saw the sun.
Today i dressed nicely.
Today i wore a bra.
Today i combed my hair.
Today i wore eyeliner.
Today i didnt talk to myself out loud.
Today i smiled.
Today i laughed.
Today i gave hugs.
Today i was happy.

Today i am better. :)


xoxo

Choices.

I want to write a lot of things. But i deleted everything. Why? Because i realised there's no point. Nobody is listening. Why am i still fighting for this then? Because everything was my fault? Because i should? But whatever i do now, wont make a difference. So why bother. Give up? Nahh. Not me. Not for something like this.

All i can do now, is move on. Whether you move on without me, or with me, by me, its entirely up to you. But the longer you take, the clearer the answer becomes. Right now, i just want to heal.

Nothing else i can say

These past days,

I've been upset.
I've been down.
I've been happy.
I've been trying to convince myself that its fine.
I've been letting myself feel better.
I've been beating myself up.
I've been letting myself heal.
Just to tear the wound open over and over again.
Just so i could feel the pain.

But after today. After everything...



I feel numb.
I am speechless.
I dont know what to say anymore.
I dont know what else i can do.


Perhaps i deserved it.
Do what you think is right.
Right for you.
I can only start doing my part from now.
I have tried. I am sorry.


I didnt expect this.
I am numb.

"You dont have to believe me, just trust me." -quote.

One day one of us will sit up and realise that all this shit aint worth it. That mistakes happen. That nobody is perfect. That real love and real friendship never dies. One day, someone will break the silence. To choose to sit in the uncomfortable truth rather than with pretended hope that things will go back to the way they used to. That things will be the same. Because they never will. If things are always the same, how do we grow? And when we grow, how can we not change to fit our growth? What do we do? We adjust. We appreciate. We move on with our lives. Those left behind have given us memories and experiences. Treasures in a way. If you have really loved, really seek and posessed true friendship, there are no regrets. The bitter feelings will end. And you will find yourself again. One day, you will learn forgiveness. Then everything will be alright again. Not the same, it never will be. But everything will be alright.



One day, i hope you find it in yourself to truly forgive me. And one day, i hope i could also learn to forgive you.



This post is not directed to any specific person. It is inspired from a number of events that have transpired lately. And i hope we will all be alright again.


xoxo

nur für dich

And i could tell you
His favourite colours' black and blue
He makes me forget about the world
Yeah its true
To me, he's beautiful
He has light brown eyes
And if you asked me if i love him
I'd never lie :)

- based on Taylor Swift's I'd Lie.