See you after trials! :)

Time for a serious post! I havent wrote one in months! =/ Anyway..

School.
Is an everyday struggle. I dont look forward to going to school anymore. There's too much work and pressure not to mention the UNHEALTHY environment (; LOL.. Trials are like 2 weeks away and just recently i discovered something.. o_o If you minus the school holidays we will have only 1 week left to actually STUDY and trials are a month long! Which means the whole of September is gone and wasted.. October, teachers will spend the first 2 weeks discussing the exam papers im sure.. Which leaves 2 more weeks for all the Gerak Gempur and shit. Then its November! D: THE MONTH. Technically it means i have only 1 week to prepare myself for the most important exam of my whole life until now. Im so dead.

So what are my aims for trials?

ENGLISH - A1

EST - A1

BM - A2

MORAL - A1

ADDMATHS - PASS D:

PHYSICS - B3

CHEMISTRY - CREDITS

SEJARAH - CREDITS

BIOLOGY - A2

MATHEMATICS - B3

I wont see that happen this much i can assure you :(

I have not started studying. Period. Everytime i look at my books i reach out, thinking i have to start sometime. But my fingers never even meet the cover of my books. I pull back at the last second. Why? Im too lazy to start. Too afraid to flood my brain with studies. This is not how i want to live and i have already established that long ago. Im not going to exchange the life i have now with reference books and such. I dont believe in that. At the same time i know i must if i want to do okay in SPM. Dont get me wrong, flooding your brain with knowledge is GOOD but i dont count this as one. =/ As knowledge i mean. Because we're studying for the sake of exams and after SPM none of us will even remember what we study. Aint that right? So can this really be defined as knowledge if you already know you'd lose it after the exam? You must be thinking what the hell who cares about that now, its SPM! And yes i really want to agree with you :( I really do. But its just some of my principles that i cannot manage to look over.

The sad thing is i KNOW that once i start studying i wont be able to stop until after the exams. Thats just who I am. Its like me reading a book D: My friends who've seen me read definitely know that i cannot put in down until Ive finished the entire series and not just the one book! My whole life will be all about that one book at that moment and i'll read it till 2 or 3 in the morning, when i get up to get ready to school, when im in school, when im eating lunch, after lunch till dinner time, after dinner till bed time till 2 or 3 in the morning. And the whole process starts again. -_- Its an obsession! D: Although i cant be that dedicated to my studies (:D) but i know that once i start i cant stop! :( And its sad to know i have that potential and still not do anything about it.. =(

So ive decided, im gonna start right now. Im removing all books from my room to the library except my school books. Goodbye loves :( And im gonna remove ALL my posters from my wall and replace them with Addmaths and Chemistry notes and such. Im gonna sleep at 11pm and wake up at 5 am to study. Im gonna banish my pink awesome cd player to my maid's room (she would love me for that lol). My cheerleading scrapbook and pompons will be removed from my sight. (NOOO) My gameboy Advance SP will be banished to my brother's room. Goodbye pokemon! :( I KNOW HOW NERDILICIOUS D: Im hiding all my Guitar Hero Ps2 CDs. Damnit! Im gonna refrain from watching YouTube :( Im gonna online ONCE a week only.

And lastly, Im gonna stop blogging.. :( Yes you heard me. Of course this is all talk and crap and im sure to cheat :D But im hoping my resolve lasts till after trials atleast :) *snorts*

What have i done. My life is damned. x(

And it doesnt help that MTV World Stage Live In Malaysia will be held tomorrow at Sunway. D: FARK FACK FORK FUCK D: All the great bands! Hoobastank! The All American Rejects! Kasabian! Boys Like Girls! D: *double fark* And even local band ESTRANGED! x( Noooooo! And to top it all im listening to Kill Hannah now and their new song is so awesome! And i decided im not gonna even try to download it. !%^&^#(*@ Screwed! Im so screwed i tell you!

CINEMA BIZARRE! :D *hyperventilates*

LOL.


Im not even taking Advance 1 RAD ballet exams this year =/ My first step to focusing all my energies into studies. And i still feel lousy for it :'( Anyway Mum says if i get good results for SPM i can take ARTS in Uni :D Get a degree in DANCE.. Weeee (:




DAMNED SPM.

And it doesnt help that Malaysia ranks 6th in the world for highest number of deaths due to A(H1N1) What the hell. No one is safe i tell ya! D: We're doomed. All doomed! Will i last even to blog my next post? Dx Quarantine all schools! Like NOW. Save the innocent children! :D *snickers* Not that i care really but.. (: Cancel SPM! :D Pft.. *rolls eyes* A girl can dream right? (:

Okay so i know all of you will definitely miss me *flatters ownself* HAHAHA. So here's a couple of pictures of me so you can stare and miss when im not online! :) wtfwtfwtfwtfwtwf.. x) Feel free to leave tags and comments though. I might still answer them (: And im feeling kinda bold today so im posting my half naked picture on here too :D LOL. Yes i consider that half naked! :) Some of YOUs would've already seen it on my friendster *my LEAST popular site* and now im gonna share it with the world :D

Yes my hair is brown (:

Abs or flabs? You decide.

*Seals own fate in an envelope* -

- Then burns it D:

Goodbye world! See you after trials :) XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO