I say Gay Discrimination is a sin in itself!

I dont get why when a person admits he's gay, it suddenly becomes every one's issue and problem. Who that person chooses to love is his business. Why is the rest of the world coming involved in his love life? Since when God restricted and limited love. And who are we humans to judge that person at all. It makes me sad to see people condemning gays and lesbians, saying hurtful things like "They should go to hell." Leave them alone. They already know what they are risking by coming out and being honest about themselves, looking at how the majority of today's society view gays and lesbians as. Sexuality is not a sin. Tell me is it better for them to lie to themselves and the rest of the world and marry someone of the opposite sex that they harbour no such feelings for? Living a life full of lies and at the same time taking away their spouses and their chance of finding true love? Isn't that a sin?

Exodus 20:7

Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

- King James Version

It is clear that the bible says that cursing, swearing, cussing should never come from a Christian's mouth. Now tell me, how many of you just sinned? Shouldn't you be condemned then? Why are you forgiven by the general public and have your sin overlooked like it wasn't a sin at all? If one were to look over everything the bible says then one (especially one living in today's society) would have found that he or she have sinned numerous times. So sinner, what makes you different from the rest of the world? Who gives you the right to make judgements on others and condemn them for what and who they are? Who are you to play God's role? Find something else to worry about wont you? Mind your own business. Again, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Gahhhhhhhhhh.

It makes me so sad sometimes how small people's hearts can be. I wish the world would be more accepting. Its not like I can one day say "I think I'll become a lesbian." when im straight. Its not a choice. They dont wake up one day and say "Hey i think i'll become gay." So have a heart people. Stop with the discrimination. Stop with the bullying. We only have 1 life. And it can end anytime. So dont waste it with making a big deal of this small issue. Look at the bigger picture in life. What significance does human sexual preference have in yours? If you're straight you're straight. Good. If you're bi you're bi. Good. If you're gay or lesbian then you're gay or lesbian. Good. Its like the majority of the world love vanilla ice cream but there are some who prefer chocolate or strawberry or yam or mint or any other flavour. Should we outcast these people then and condemn them? Its the same thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4&feature=aso

Watching this video today inspired me to blog this post. And for those of you curious to know,

I am straight.

I am not a Christian.

I am not religious in any sense.

You can say I am Agnostic.

I prefer chocolate, strawberry and mint ice cream over vanilla.

So there. Yeah go ahead and condemn me for that. Food for thought?

xoxo

My advanced 1 Rad Ballet Grand Allegro free enchainement!

Right leg derriere en crosse. Chasse en avant degage, demi contratemps, fouete soute, coupe pose temp leve in arabesque, chasse passe en avant. Demi contratemps, fouete soute, coupe pose in 1st arabesque fondu. 3 runs grande jete en tournant, 3 runs fouete soute, petit develope passe devant, temps leve in arabesque, run in circle & repeat other side till 3runs fouete soute, chasse passe en evant, chaines en diagonale finishing with chasse & releve in 1st arabesque. HOLD.

How's that for free enchainment? o_o

I never thought that I'll see the day when you'll be gone and I'm stuck with what's left of a heart and it kills me inside, because you were the sweetest love I've ever known.

-DuSouth

Euro 2004 UEFA Portugal Edition Carlsberg Beer Can

Euro 2004 UEFA Portugal Edition Carlsberg Beer Can 500ml

Unopened, full drink & in excellent condition.

Rm45; does not include postage fee.

*price is negotiable*

Interested, email me at sylvia_cham@hotmail.com or call/text 0162475010 (Sylvia) :)

Note: Malaysian region only!

: I am not promoting alcohol. This item is a collector's item and shall be treated as such.

Mini 7Up Can Limited Edition 150ml

Mini 7Up Can 150ml

Limited edition.

Unopened, full drink & in excellent condition.

Expired on 31st May 2005.

Rm18; does not include postage fee.

Interested, please feel free to send me an email at sylvia_cham@hotmail.com or call/text to 0162475010 :)

Note: Malaysian region only!

2006 Fifa World Cup Germany Edition Coca Cola Can 325ml

2006 Fifa World Cup Germany Coca Cola Can 325ml

Michael Ballack.

Unopened, full drink & in excellent condition.

Expired on 15th June 2007.

Rm 18; does not include postage fee.

Collector's item.

Interested, please feel free to send me an email at sylvia_cham@hotmail.com or call/text to 0162475010 :)

Note: Malaysian region only!

Just because you're right, doesn't mean I'm wrong. I just want to use your love tonight.

Liam Payne's X Factor Audition (Full Version)

Awww he's cute :)

Cher Lloyd's X Factor Audition (Full Version) - itv.com/xfactor

In memory.

30.05.1992 - 31.08.2010

Why is it that most of us take for granted everything we have in life when we know that life is too short? Anything can happen, overnight our lives can change forever. It still seems a bit surreal to me. I wasn't close to you. We barely talked though we spent our whole childhood together. I remember, play-dates on every weekend, celebrating our birthdays together (She was 5 days younger than I am), family dinners, trips etc.. And then everyone started drifting apart. And i didn't spoke to you in years. Until now, we have never spoken directly to each other. And we never will.


You had so much to offer. Everyone compared us. You had the better grades every single time. You were the bright child. You were the taller one. The more hardworking one. And i simply lose to you in almost everything. Its sad you had to go. Just 18. Life was just starting for you. Seems unfair really, but who am i to judge whats fair or not? That's life. All we do is live it and play whatever roles we were given. There is no room for regrets.


Dear cousin, you will be sadly missed by everyone who knew you. And here i am struggling with myself. I look at your facebook wall full with condolences and everyone wishing you well in heaven and messages of 'i will miss you's. I wanted to write something but i cannot think of what. How could i say 'i will miss you' ? Why didnt i take the time to get to know you again? And now its too late. You're gone. With my role in your life, i do not deserve to say that 'i will miss you' no matter how much it rings true. I could only pray for you and hope that wherever you are now, you are at peace. May God bless your soul, Winnie Chiam. I am glad to have known you.












Just a few pictures out of loads. R.I.P cousin!

Quotes

When you trip over love, you can get up. When you fall in love and you fall forever.


True love stories never have endings.

Us

It starts with ours, it ends with ours. Fullstop.

Dedicated

Secondhand Serenade - Stay close, dont go.


I'm staring at the glass in front of me,
is it half empty of our wins or have i ruined all you've given me?
I know I've been selfish,
I know I've been foolish,
but look through that
and you will see,
I'll do better, I know,
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,
I listen to your breathing,
amazed how I somehow managed to
sweep you off your feet girl,
your perfect little feet girl
I took for granted what you do.
But I'll do better, I know
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

And don't you know my heart is open, oh,
it's putting up the fight,
and I've got this feeling,
that everything's alright,
and don't you see,
I'm not the only one for you
but you're the only one for me.

If you leave me tonight I'll wake up alone,

(stay)If you leave me tonight,
(close) I'll wake up alone,
(don't)don't tell me I will
(go)make it on my own,
(stay)don't leave me tonight,
(close)this heart of stone
(don't) will sing till it dies
(go)if you leave me tonight.
Don't leave me tonight


xoxo

Pain, just pain.

One day you'll find something thats worth everything. Something to fight for, something to live for, something to want, something to need, something to love, something you cannot live without; just to kill it in the process. What would you do? What can you do? Why did you kill it?


I am willing to live with everything, with all the guilt, with all the pain that I CAUSED, everything just to be with you. Im selfish i know because i dont care what its doing to you. Suffer with me or we die trying. Because no one else can have you.

Little miss genius *coughs*

Its been a while since i turned on my brain. Too much intelligence is slowly killing me. Trying to think rationally again seems almost alien-like. I want to go back to my fairytale and never resurface.


Curse you university life.


xoxo

Quote

"Many people have told me that I've changed. That Im not me anymore. But truth is, I think I've just found myself."



Deal with it, or get lost :)


xoxo

Myspace is full of douchebags. Tsk.

5:44 PM Khairul: aslam kom boli kenal
5:48 PM Khairul: wah sobon ye wak ni ?
5:56 PM Khairul: hai tak ade balas pon. teruk ni... adu sakit kepale saye ni
6:08 PM Khairul: hai
6:14 PM Khairul: lacau cibai ciyau fak kiyu



HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA.



Asshole loser! ;)

:(

He lost his soul to a woman so heartless.

S.I.

Know you have died
And your pain is the sign
You're alive, you're alive, you're alive, you're alive
You can still bleed
You can cry, you can need
You can shred your soul
You can rise when you fall

~Anonymous

One too many times before.

We all know the pain of a broken heart. How about the pain of a heartbreaker? Easily overlooked. Not because its not important. But because they dont even deserve to feel anything. They dont deserve the attention. They dont deserve to say they feel the same pain or more.


Because they are the ones who gave suffering. And now they should suffer alone.



How can you sleep knowing you'll go to hell?
You sleep without hope.
You sleep with acceptance.
You sleep preparing.

xoxo

Week 1

First week of Uni was a bitch. I am least bothered. Why am i there again? Oh yeah for the sake of a degree and to waste my dad's money. Wee. I think people think im weird. Because i walk alone and randomly sit next to people i dont know. I barely talk because i just dont feel like talking. And i never linger around campus. Straight home after class. The best part of university life is i get to wear shorts and walk home from campus. I am least interested.


But i cant deny i got a little bit excited when i went Tesco yesterday and bought my supplies :) Ring files! Test pad! Notebook! Pens! Weee. I have a weird fetish. I love notebooks. I love stationaries. I love gift boxes. I love cute wrapping paper :) Hee.



By the way has anyone watched Eclipse yet? :/ I waaaaaant to watch! Like sooo badly. Guys, lets goooo! Geeez. Dont watch without me ): And and and MTV WORLDSTAGE LIVE IN MALAYSIA. TOKIO HOTEL. :O Ahhhhhhhhhh. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


I NEED TICKETS. FUCK.


FUCK EVERYTHING.



xoxo

Jay Sean - Down (cover)

Jay Sean - Down (Cover)

By my friend, Wong Fu Wai :) Which i think is not bad at all! Enjoy!

xoxo

Over the weekend,

Spain won the world cup.
I missed Cheer 2010.
I started my first class in uni today - Atoms and Bonding.
And i realised something hugee.
Which im not telling here so :P


Right. Tomorrow will be a longer day.


xoxo

Whatever

Im starting to even talk like him.
If you dont know, it is bordering on an obsession
so insane, so crazy
that everything just revolves around you.
And Im doing my best to keep my feet on the ground.

Im wearing thin.



So yeah i registered myself today into the University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus. Course of study - Foundation in Science. Induction is tomorrow. Fuck this. I am NOT in the mood at all to start my studies. I am NOT in the mood to study about Atoms and Bonding. Wtf. WHY did i take science? Urghh.


Lectures start on Monday. And i'll be walking to school. Sigh. I feel sick even talking bout it.



10th & 11th July 2010 - CHEER 2010.

Its sad that X-plodetes arent competing. And its sad that i might not be able to go. MIGHT. sigh. Fuck this.




xoxo

Auf wiedersehen Germans ):

Spain 1 - Germany 0


Everyone is cursing Paul the octopus on facebook. HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Stupid match. Stupid game. Stupid goal. What were German defenders doing to even let Puyol wander around unmarked. And Puyol scored of all people. -.- Germans were playing like crap. Sigh.



Netherlands vs Spain in finals. Epic.
Im supporting Netherlands.
Because Huntelaar is cute :)
So is Wesley Sneijder :)
And David Villa just got lucky this season.


..l..


Im grieving )':
This world cup sucks. lol


xoxo

Bye bye Germany?

Just so you know, Spain will win tonight. And i will cry my eyes out ): NO its not because the stupid octopus has spoken. Personally that octopus needs to be in my sushi, but anyway yeah it'll be a Spain vs. Nederlands final. And if thats the case, im supporting Nederlands because i dislike spain for no particular reason :)


Registration for uni tomorrow. I. Dont. Want. To. Go. To. Uni. Arghhhhhhhhhhh.
Yeah, chastice me for being a little kid but i do need incentives on this one! *hint hint* *does the eyebrow thingy*

Bah. Nevermind )':


xoxo

The case of the inverted sperm due to underage sex.

..... Then the tail will penetrate the ovum. Instead of the head. The nucleus in the head is then guided to the end of the tail by active transportation with the use of the abundant mitochondrian available in the sperm. Once penetration is succeeded, the nucleus glides along the length of the sperm till the tail end and is pushed out into the ovum. Once that happens, the head wilts and disintegrates leaving the tail behind inside the ovum. When successful invertilization has occured, an upside foetus will slowly develop in the womb once the usual implantation has taken place. When the baby is born, you will find unusual characteristics such as the ass of the baby where the head should be and head at the bottom half of the body and mnay more other characteristics, some even born with wings. Such babies are born stillborn. With 100% of cases reported as so. This explains the lack of an alien like creature living on this planet. Scientists suspects creatures such as the chupacabras or the jersey devil is a form of an 'inverted' baby that has defied the odds and was born alive. But there isnt enough evidence to prove this yet. We hope more experiments done on children losing their virginity under the age of 14 will help give some answers. Therefore, if you're under the age of 14 help humanity by participating in underage sex. If you're a dumbass and believe what i just written, please go shoot yourself.




Thank you. xo


*disclaimer: i am not responsible for the increased rates of underage sex. i am also not responsible for the increased rates of suicidal pre-teens. This post is intended as a joke. Live with it.*


:)

Intellectual badass baby!

I need to reset my body clock because uni is starting soon. Sigh. Maximum - sleep at 3am. But world cup is not over yet. So again, whats the point of starting now? -.- No way im missing matches. Germany thrashed Argentina 4-0. Like wow. Fucking awesome. And now Germany vs Spain in semifinals. Im thinking, germany will go all the way :) Yayyyy! Hopefully. And whats up with that oracle octopus dude? Fake. Fake. Fake.




Shared pain is the worst pain. Neither one of you knows how to heal it.
Think about it.
xoxo

Truth is

Im going crazier day by day. And thats a very very good thing.

Weight, what?

I do not have an eating disorder. I think lol.

So i havent been eating a lot recently. And because of that i've lost weight (: All in all ive lost a little over 10 pounds this year compared to last year. Not bad. Pretty healthy weight loss right? Recently i dropped a little below 110 pounds. Not good. For a girl of 1.65m, give or take a few. But yeah. Im at my best shape for ballet, thats if i manage to maintain this weight and not lose or gain more. What with my Advance 1 exams coming up in 2 months. Shit. I am not ready. Anyway one bad thing with losing all these weight, i lost my back strength. Flexibility, yeah still there. But i dont have the strength anymore. ): Not like how i used to. I worked so hard for my posture. And now its getting weaker. I have to gain it back like fasttt. In time for exams! I have to wake up, get off my ass and start practicing. Once a week class just will not work. And maybe take vitamins. Urghh. Effort people, effort! Ahhhh

Yeah practice, practice, practice.

xoxo

On a saturday morning I am..

..in Mcd Kajang. Waiting for Embrys to finish her tuition class. Bored and sleepy. One hour plus of discontinuous sleep last night. Missing you. Oh and Ghana lost. Uruguay won. Penalty shootout. Niceee.

I swear i'll fall asleep on the table right here and now.
But then they'll steal my lappy.
Sigh.
Life is so hard :(
Wtf.


xx

Night owl?

I am supposed to be asleep. Since like 2 hours ago. But cant. So yeah here i am blogging :) Sooooo. Brazil lost. Defeated. Out of the world cup! O: And Netherlands are through to semi finals :) Hmmm. Ghana and Uruguay match going on now. But i was banned from watching by daddy. Because i got to wake up at 7.15am later. :/ But no point. My body clock is completely upside down now. So yeah i was thinking of sneaking downstairs since two hours ago. Im hungry :( Someone went off halfway before i was done so yeah still hungry. Anyways i think i hear him come up to his room. o.o Which means.. FIFA TIME :) and fooooood. RAWRR.


Meeting my girls tomorrow :) Atleast im meeting Embrys for sure. Maddie, not sure yet. And yes my dear bitch why do you have to move to Cheras? :( Kajang was HOME. We were all HOMIES. :'(


Okay that was lame. Dont think i'll be sleeping tonight.

xoxo

Step 1:

Inflict pain onto thyself, as you have inflicted upon others.



DO NOT try at home.
xx

Welcome reality.

Today i realised its hard to feel frightened about anything anymore.
Worry, yes. Sure.
But frightened, nah.
Why?
Because when i looked around
i realised the scariest and ugliest thing in the room


was me.



Just hideous. Welcome reality.
xx

Songs

Its an emo night.



So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.


:'(


James Blunt - Goodbye my lover




If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you .


:(


Christina Aguilera - Hurt



No rewinds
No second times
And I won't break
I won't waste, everything you left behind
So don't follow
Just let it go
The weather's, been better
Don't let it be another...

Breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart, I hope to die

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all.


Boys Like Girls - Up against the wall.


Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free
A birth of a song, a death of a dream
Closer to the edge
This never ending story, hate 4 wheel driving fate
We all fall short of glory, lost in ourself

No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day, maybe we'll meet again
No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day, maybe we'll meet again
No, no, no, no


30 seconds to mars - Closer to the edge.



Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?


:')


Backstreet Boys - How did i fall in love with you?



Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life.


:)


Dido - Thank you



Emo tracks of the night. Lol.

xoxo

These words are my heart and soul.

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'll bleed my heart out to show
That I won't let go.


:)


Sum 41 - With Me.

xx

4-1

Bye bye England.
Bye bye Fabio Capello.
Bye bye refereeeee :)


Stupid mistake by ref. Wtf are you blind? That was definitely a goal. Sigh. Well Germany deserved their win :)


Next match: Argentina vs Mexico


Go Aguero! :P
LOL.
Yeah im supporting Argentina. And when they win, yeah i said WHEN not IF cuz thats how sure am i, they'll face Germany in quarterfinals.


Brilliant :) Just brilliant.


xoxo

Meinen

YOU ARE MINE. RAWRRRR.

England or Germany?

Great News!


England made it into Top 16! :) And so did Germany! :) Yay! Both teams that i support made it through.


Top 16 clash: England vs Germany.


Great. Perfect. What now? :(

Tag

ABC About You Questions:

A - AVAILABLE: No.
B - BIRTHDAY: 25th May 1992
C - CRUSHING ON: Nobody.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: 100 Plus.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Myself.
F - FAVORITE SONG: Currently - Plain white Ts 1234
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Whichever.
H - HOMETOWN: Kuala Lumpur?
I - IN LOVE WITH: You.
J - JUGGLE: Between 2 worlds.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Nope.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: 5 hours.
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Dont drink that stuff.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2 brothers.
O - ONE WISH: Quote: "Even forever dont seem like long enough" :)
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: You.
R - REASON TO SMILE: You :)
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 4pm i think.
V - VEGETABLE(S): Er o_o
W - WORST HABIT: Being the laziest ass ever.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: None
Y – YOYOS ARE: Nostalgic :)
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Gemini

Random Questions About You:

Spell your name without vowels: sylv
What color do you wear most?: Black
What are you listening to?: Plain White Tees - 1234
Are you happy with your life right now?: Yeah
What is your favorite class in school?: Used to be additional mathematics :)
When do you start back at school/college?: Uni starting in July :(
Are you outgoing?: Yeah :)
Favorite pair of shoes?: My latin heels.
Where do you wish you were right now?: This is a dangerous question :)


THE CANS:
Can you dance?: Yes.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: That'll be retarded to try.
Can you whistle?: YES.
Write with both hands?: Sure. Legible or not is another thing. Lol
Walk with your toes curled?: Sure? o_o


THE DO'S:
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: Yeah
Do you believe in miracles?: Now i do :)
Do you believe in magic?: Some days.
Love at first sight?: Nah.
Do you think there's a Satan?: Dont care.
Do you believe in Santa?: Nah.
Do you know how to swim?: Yup.
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Hey Im chinese :) Lol. Actually nah i cant.


THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yes.
Have you ever asked someone out?: Friends?
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: Yeah
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yes.
Have you ever painted your nails?: Duh.


THE WHATS:
What is the temperature outside?: 2 words. GLOBAL WARMING.
What radio station do you listen to?: Hitz.fm
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: A chinese restaurant.
What was the last thing you bought?: Reload. Heh
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: My brothers.


CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: All the time.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Used to be everynight in the past.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Dont think so
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Yes.
Do you cry when you get an injury?: If its painful yeah duh.
Do certain songs make you cry?: YES.


HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person?: Sure
What can make you happy?: Doing what i love, being with the people i love.
Do you wish you were happier?: Never ask for too much.
Can music make you happy?: Yeah.


LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken?: None.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: Yes.


LOOK AT ME.
What is your current hair color?: Reddish brown. Color faded :/
Current piercings?: Ears.
Have any tattoos?: Would love some.
Eye color?: Black?


IN A BOY/GIRL
Favorite eye color: Light brown :)
Short or long hair: Dont matter.
Height: Tall.
Best clothing: Himself ;)


HAVE YOU EVER.
Been to jail: NO -.-
Mooned someone: My dog?
Thrown up in a store: Nope.
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today: I guess.
Gone skinny dipping: Not yet :D


THIS OR THAT.
Pepsi or Coke : They both taste the same -.-
McDonald's or Burger King: Mcdonalds
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Strawberries or Blueberries: strawberries.
Meat or Veggies: Meat
TV or Movie: Both
Guitar or Drums?: GUITAR.
Adidas or Nike: Dont really matter.
Chinese or Mexican: Dont really matter.
Cheerios or Corn Flakes : Corn flakes
Cake or Pie: Dont matter.

Tag

If you're a guy- post this as my kind of girl.
If you're a girl- post it as my kind of boy.


1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
Nah.

2. Smart?
Yeah okay.

3. Preferred age?
Any age will do.

4. Preferred height?
Hmm. Tall?

5. How about sense of humor?
Definitely!

6. How about piercings?
They're sexy :)

7. Accepts you for who you are?
Of course! And im one hard person to be accepted.

8. Pink hair?
Er probably no?

9. Mushy or no?
Mushy? Wth?

10. Thin or fat?
Dont matter :)

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
For a second i was thinking something dirty but yeah even rainbow would be perfectly fine :)

12. Long hair or short hair?
Dont mind :)

13. Plastic or metal? * cute or pretty ?
Why plastic? Metal? o_o I dont get this.

14. Smells good?
Mmhmm

15. Smoker?
LOL. I dont like smokers. Dont like smoking. But. Heh. x)

16. Drinker?
No hardcore alcoholics. Thats it.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Cool :)

18. Muscular?
Abs would be very nice :)

19. Plays piano?
Thats hot.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
Im a sucker for boys with guitars :)

21. Plays violin?
Dont matter.

22. Sings very good?
Hahaha. Dont matter.

23. Vain?
Depends.

24. With glasses?
No problem.

25. With braces?
Thats cute :)

26. Shy type?
Aww :) But nah, dont work well with my personality.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Rebel! :)

28. Active or passive?
Both?

29. Tight or bomb? * hot or sexy ?
How about sweet?

30. Singer or dancer?
Dancer :)

31. stunner?
Dont matter.

32. Hiphop?
Okay?

33. Earrings?
Sexy :)

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
Fuck NO.

35. Dimples?
Gah! :)

36. Bookworm?
Dont matter.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
Definitely. I'd love to receive something in writing :)

38. Playful?
YES!

39. Flirt?
Just with me.

40. Poem writer?
Sure :D

41. Serious?
Yes.

42. Campus crush?
No.

43. Painter?
Dont matter.

44. Religious?
Not an extremist then okay.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
YES. :)

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak
Dont matter :)

47. Speaks 20 languages?
Thats hot.

48. Loyal or faithful?
Everything please?

49. good kisser?
Most definitely.

50. emotional or cool ?
Both depending on situations.



Dont ask me why im doing tags all of a sudden. -.-

Change

- I used to scorn people in love. Bigtime.

I hated love scenes, all gooey and iloveyousoverymuchicantlivewithoutyou senarios. I even go to the extent of thinking people who 'fall in love' are weak. Because they cant live independently. They need a support system. Losers i labelled them. Yeah i couldnt understand what the hype was about. Really? You're in love? You'd die for that person? Oh yeah sureee. I'd give you 2 months maximum and that relationship is going to be over. Are you gonna kill yourself then?

Yeap i was all high and mighty about not falling in love. I was proud that i was a loner. Every single guy that came my way i stepped on them with my shoe like they were nothing. I convinced myself i didnt need them. Not anyone. And people who just 'think they're in love' deserved their painful breakup afterwards. I sound so sadistic. Goshhh. But thats the real truth. :X That was what i perceived, what i felt. That was my reason which i hid behind. Just because i wasnt strong enough to open my heart, allowed it to be vulnerable, locked it with myself so no one can touch me; I convinced myself that i was just being strong, independently. That i was the one coming out on top. Wow what a loser :)

It really isnt like that at all isnt it? Its so much more complicated than that now i realised. I used to laugh at people after breakups like a "HAH! I told you so!" moment. But really im the one everyone should be laughing at. So naive. So quick to judge. I always thought i was open minded but really i was the narrow minded one. Because falling in love is never a mistake. Because falling in love doesnt mean you cant live independently. Because falling in love just means there's something in this person thats just for you. You have found something in this person that is yours. Of course there are all kinds of love. You may fall in love and something just happens along the way that made the relationship fail. Doesnt matter, on with the next one. You'll fall in love again.

And then there is THAT kind of love which is stronger beyond the imagination. For me, I dont refer to it as 'being in love' of any kind. Its so much stronger than love. There are no words to describe it. To put it into a word in English, I'll have to settle on 'soulmates'. Only a lucky 5% maybe, will ever find that one person that truly just belongs to you.

And i finally understood all those love movies. Even one time i was watching House on Axn, just 4 words she said to him. "Hey, I love you." No bouquets of roses everywhere, no diamond ring, no tacky background orchestra, no fancy restaurant, no sexual tension, nothing. Just a plain, simple, honest from the soul I love you. 4 words and i cried for half an hour. That moment just touched me so much. Yeah how much Ive changed. Lol. Usually when it comes to those kinds of scenes, i roll my eyes and change the channel. Then mumble to myself about the predictability of it all. Heh. Epic. And my mom watching the show with me would demand i change it back and commented i will die a spinster. Bless her. I love her so much. :)

So what brought this on you ask? Hmm i was just feeling a little emotional. No surprise *rolls eyes* and I felt like writing it out. I dont know. Its just something bout seeing things in writing and writing it out that makes me calm down. Or make me burst into tears, either one. But this time it was therapeutic. And it was just something that was on my mind thats all. :] Something i was wondering about. Hmm anyhoo, its just past 2.30am Malaysian time. Which means GERMANY MATCH IS ON :D Yeah support Germany people! :) England just made it through to Top 16. Sad case about Slovenia though. :/ I feel for them man. Really i do. So im off. To watch the match. :) Its like im the only one who watches full matches among my family. Awesome :D

Oh, ponder.

xoxo

Quote: What is love?

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine

Quote

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

- Rumi

Quote

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.

-- Robert Fulghum

Living.

So you may have noticed i changed my blog layout (: Why? Oh no reason. Was just playing around with the new blogger template designs and thought to myself this template looks pretty cool. (: And the rest was history! Plus it was pink so :D Muahhahaha. Had to of course reconfigure my chatbox and statcounter to go with the theme. Didnt turn out too well but heck. I think its okie dokie for a mediocre bloggie.


Yeah, that rhymed :) Woohoo im awesome :D



Spain vs Honduras match going on. (Did i spell that right?) Anyway going off to catch the rest of the match. Let Spain be out, let spain be out :D And Germany into the finals. Weeee! And England into quarter finals atleast x) Lol.



Do we live in the physical world we can touch, or do we live in the world we create in our minds and touch with our hearts? Or do we live in both? And if so where do we draw the line between living in reality and real living?


Ponder.
xoxo

Okay i was feeling i little bit poetic, so yeah.

I want to hear your silence
When you finally discover the truth.
I want to whisper nothings
into the night with you.

I want to say Im sorry
for not being your best.
But I want us to be different
to be the ones who last.

I dont want a million things
that im sure you can give me.
And I dont need a million reasons
about His plans for me.

All i need more than ever
is the sound of your voice
the touch of your skin
the answer of my choice.

The rush of guilty pleasure
the silence of your breath.
A love no one can measure
in a brush of passioned perfect lips.

And i want to hear your silence
when you finally discover the truth.
To cry tears of love when i say
i simply cannot and will not live without you.

Houston, may i please please please leave this building?

I was under reconstruction
and then terrorists came
and attacked my building.

Just perfect.




Okay if you did not just get me, it means i was having my period and to top it all i fell sick. And my sinus is giving me these annoying headaches. So after much MUCH deliberation, i stayed in bed for 2 days. Skipping the prom meeeting on Friday and my piano, guitar & ballet class on Saturday. Ditching Embrys and her boyrfriend and the others at karaoke on saturday as well.


I do not like skipping. I rarely skipped anything ):


But I did. And thank God i did because im a flowing water tap. Box of tissues beside me and i cant stop sneezing. Gross. How do you like me now? D: And to kill time, i watched Sex and the City. No not Sex and the City 2, but Sex and the City as in the first one. Yeah. And i got all awww and emotional and cried a fair bit at a few parts of the movie. As if i didnt have enough fluids coming out from different holes of my body already. (Excuse the disgustingness) Yeah im a mess and i look like a mess.


And why am i ranting? Because im pissed off at being sick. Pissed off at being an invalid. Pissed off with feeling cold then hot then cold again. Am i developing a fever? Ah fuck. Pissed off with having a difficult and painful period this time. Yeah did i mention painful? D: Arghhhh.


Its 1.15am Sunday morning. Yeah its sunday. I dont want to stay home on Sunday ): I dont want 3rd day of bedrest. Im soo restless I want to go out. But i dont want to be a flowing water tap in public. Makeup might make me look more presentable but i dont want to wear makeup because im lazy to remove it afterwards. But but arghhhhh. )':



@#Q^%!RE^&%TY!*@E&!*E&!@^#%&!



I want to go ice skating.


):


Yeah very funny. Start laughing. This is the part exactly where you'll call me an idiot and go on a 3 minute long rant about me being a dumbass. Love it. :)


Oh and dont get me started on the pills. D: I am BAD at taking pills. Cant swallow. Takes me forever. Amoxycilin is quite alright, but anything rounder and bigger there's a problem. Panadols take me a full cup of water plus half a cup more to wash the taste down. (Yes, i bite the pill into pieces) But thats the only way i can get it in. So yeah being sick for me is a huge problem. And my mouth currently smells of bad breath and strepsils losenges. Fucking eww.


So yeah. Im pissed at being sick. So pissed till i have to complain about it to the world. And all i want right now is an undeserved hug ): Sigh fuck this. xx


And happy father's day! Lol.


xoxo

Kiss my ass goodbye :D Im off for Char Koay Teow baby!

Hello world! :)


In continuation of my previous posts' obessession with Gil Ofarim's version of Its Your Love, i am currently learning how to play the song on guitar. Woohoo. Pretty simple actually. Easy chords to play but being the noob that i am it'll take me ages before i could get it down pat (: Muahahahah. But still, its a very orgasmic experience i tell you :D Brings out the emo queen in me. In a good way, mind. Heh


So what else? Hmmm. Oh yeah i bought new bras and undies :D Weeee! It all started out with Madeline & Denissa boasting about buying new bras. *envious* Then Embrys followed suit and bought some bras as well. Yellow with flowers or something like that. == Idk. Soooo feeling left out, i went out and bought some :D hahahhaha. Nahh kidding. Im not that big of an idiot. I really did need some new ones :) So. Yeah. Rm150 worth from Triumph! Thank you mommy :) And yeah i know. Do i really need to write this out to the world? You must be thinking:


You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.


Woots! Yeah i can but YOU cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give to the fuck YOU do not give :D HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And so on and so on :) LOL! I know, i have completely lost it. Muahahhahaa.


(Its a facebook group by the way. Join join join! :D )


http://www.facebook.com/pages/You-cannot-fathom-the-immensity-of-the-fuck-i-do-not-give/128249450523055



Anyway moving on from my sudden hyperialismness *dont bother googling, i made that up* I'll be leaving for Penang in lets see. 1, 2, 3, no- 4 hours time! Why in the world im going all the way up there? Well mommy, brother and uncle wanted to go EAT. *facepalms* Awesomeness. So yeah they made it into a family trip. Even Toa Ee & Uncle Al from Singapore will be joining us. Driving all the way from one end to the other of West Malaysia. LOL. Naiceee :D So right now, everyone is asleep in my house. The usual. Except me of course. Not planning to sleep. Already slept for 8 hours this morning till afternoon so no point :/ And everyone is all packed and ready. Except me. The usual. :/


Hmmm.


And i need to do a few things before i leave. Like BATHE :D Nyahahahaha. And wash my hair. Its getting greasy. Urgh yuck. And shave my legs :) because im planning on wearing a black mini later. With white heels. And long sleeved blue top i just bought from FOS last Sunday :)


Blueeeeeeee :))))


And long sleeved! \m/ Such a goody girl. Daddy will love me i bet you. Like forever. His little girl has finally learned how to dress decently. Yeah its my first long sleeved top since i was like 11. Lol. I'll shock him into silence (:


Blacccckkkkkkkk :))))


*my background is black so of course i had to use grey or you wont be able to read the word lol*


Dont mind me. I do not plan to explain. So yeah :) Oh and i have to talk to my dogs as well. :/ Explain to them im leaving for 3 days. So that they know. Poor thing, she gets real upset everytime i leave :( She wont eat and she'll wait for me at the front door till i get home. :( So loyal. So silly. I love that bitch. Whaaaat? Dont look at me like that. Like you dont talk to your dogs. Geez. And i have 7 i have to talk to. Not easy okaaaay. I'll have to face their little faces before i leave. Almost makes me dont wanna leave at all. :/ Almost. Gah.




And oh i was supposed to post up some pictures from the Charm Cheerleading Championships but i got reaaaal lazy so for pictures just go to http://glittercookies.blogspot.com ! :) Hehehe



Okay thats it for now. I gotta go get my things ready or my family will shout till the roof collapses if im not ready to leave later. LOL. Vicious things they are i tell you x( No joke. But good thing is im bringing my lappy along together with my P1 Wimax wiggy :D Weeee. That thing is too adorable i tell you. Love it.

Soooo make sure you miss me. Make sure you bug my cellphone non stop. And tell me that you miss me. LOL :) And i will love you forever :D HAHAHHAA. Kidding. Not that desperate. And this is a good time to again, say YOU CANNOT FATHOM THE IMMENSITY OF THE FUCK I DO NOT GIVE :D Woohoooo! See ya! xx



3 days. will. kill. me. But Im holding on to our promise :)
And not fall into the ocean or get run over by hungry tourists.
AHHAHAHHAHA.

Ich liebe dich!
xoxo



Oh oh oh oh! HAPPY WORLD CUP FEVER Y'ALL! :D Support Germany & England people! :) Come on, dont be bastards. Support, support, support! :D xx

Es ist deine lieber

I am supposed to send in my offer letter from the University of Nottingham but i seem to have misplaced it. Oh joy :) Lets hope my maid didnt throw it away with all the other junk mail. LOL.


Anyway recently i came across my old time favourite song again that i just used to be so obsessed with when i was much younger. And yeah of course i was obsessed with the singer as well because i think he's just too beautiful :) And that voice! Rough around the edges. Sexy! ;)


Gil Ofarim - Its your love :)





I think the original singers were Tim McGraw & Faith Hill. Which they sang awesomely of course. But i like Gil's version better. Again, that roughness in his voice just urghhh. Captures the lyrics and melody perfectly i think. Everything is more intense somehow. And those eyes, you can get lost in them anyday. Plus he has gorgeous hair in the video! And the blue he was wearing compliments him extremely :) But uhhhh. Did i mention HIS VOICE? :DD I could listen to him all day. Forgive me, i was but a little girl after all with extremely big dreams, convinced that owning celebrities isnt an impossible thing at all. Nuh-uh :) Poor child.


Poor sick child :)



Oh and did i mention my new favourite colour is blue? :D And soft brown :) Dont ask. Hehehehehhe. Lol.



Dancin' in the dark
middle of the night.
Takin' your heart
holdin' it tight.
Emotional touch,
Touchin' my skin
Askin' you to do
what you've been doin'
all over again.
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I've just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go


It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
And if you wonder
'bout the spell I'm under
It's your love.


Better than I was,
More than I am.
All of that happened
By takin' your hand.
Who I am now
Is who I've wanted to be.
Now that we're together
Stronger than ever, happy and free.
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in.
And if you ask me why I'll change
All I gotta do is say your sweet name.


It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
And if you wonder
'bout the spell I'm under
Its your love.



Yeah baby, its your love :)
xoxo

Cheeeeer!

Seems like everyone's falling in love these days. Tsk tsk :)

You two know who you are *cough* :P

Anyway, yesterday i went for the CHARM CHEERLEADING CHAMPIONSHIPS, better known as C3 at 1Utama. Took public transport there with Madeline, *we looked so lost -.- but we got there in the end* (: It took us like 2 hours from the Kajang Ktm Station. Urghh. The performances were great! Awesome work from Blitzerz (they won the International Stunt Group Category), Rebels, Team Rainbow from Thailand (all boys team, definitely crowd favourites :P), Povedance from Philipines, team Awesome in the cheer dance category, Zenith (also in cheer dance category; that Malay dude with the blonde hair is hawt O:) and CHARM (team Malaysia).

Cheered for all the teams there although initially we went to support Blitzerz. Met up with Mr. Serge Norguard, blogger extraordinaire :P LOL and Nissa too after lunch break.

Oh and all three of us bought CHEER shorts (: Nyehehehehe.

I miss cheerleading soo badly ): Ariff called it my one and only boyfriend. HAHAHHAHA. And Embrys called me a babi hutan ): Ahh well. More pictures soon! Till next post (:

xoxo

Tiefer fallen

Feet fingers :)


hehehhehehe


You're sooo cute sometimes you know that?


Ich liebe dich :)
xoxo

Guitarrrrr! (:

This is my white Morrison guitar. Gift from mommy (: I love it! hehehe

Thanks mom! (:

xoxo

When you can be strong for me, it is only fair that I do the same for you. No matter how much i try to hide.

xoxo

Baby, I wanna fall in love with you again :)

Lets pretend baby,
That you've just met me.
And I've never seen you before.
I'll tell all my friends
That i think you're staring
and you say the same to yours.

And oh, we'll dance around it all night
And then I'll follow you outside
And try to open up my mouth
And nothing comes out right.

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I dont have to try
It's so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again.

I'll call you in three days
Not too soon and not too late
And I'll ask your roommate if you're home
You call me on Thursday
And we'll hang out all day
Then fall asleep on the phone.

And oh, I'll hold your hand when we drive
And we'll lose track of all the time
And we'll tell everyone
that we aint never felt so alive

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I dont have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again.

We'll fall disgustingly fast
And we'll stop hanging out with friends
And they'll be so offended.

And i wanna fall in love with you again
I dont have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again.
Lets just fall in love again.



:)



Jason Castro - Lets just fall in love again.


xoxo

Eighteeeeeeeen :)

Being eighteen definitely rocks! :) I can honestly, officially say that yesterday was the best birthday I've ever had. It was a roller coaster ride emotionally. I got to spend it with the people that i love the most. Thank you for the hundreds of wishes on facebook! And dozens of texts and face to face wishes. Most of all, thank YOU for calling. I really appreciated that. Although it went in a whole different direction than expected. But thank you! It still made my day like every single day. Thank you for putting up with me. And im sorry for ruining everything.


Anywaaaaay, I love you all :) Thank you for the presents! Thank you mom for the awesome WHITE Morrison acoustic guitar! ;) And thank you Embrys, Denissa, Madeline, Ashok, YanYang, FuWai and CheeZhao for celebrating with me :) hehehe.



And oh did you hear? I got my best friend back :)




Song of the moment: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris


And i'd give up forever to touch you
cuz i know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And i dont want to go home right now.


xoxo

Hyperialism. I made that up heh :D

I am smiling from ear to ear and all around my head :D There are a number of reasons why i cant stop smiling but they are not for you to know :D I just cant stop smilingggg! im sooo happy! hehehehehhehe. Gosh i cant concentrate on anythinggg. Im sure Denissa and Embrys understands ;D HOR HOR? Hahahahahhaa. This 2 days i've been crazy! If im like this everyday then gone lah :D GONEEEE. Ahhhh i cant work like this! I cant do anythingggg except feed my fish in Fishville :D LOLOLOLOL. I named one of it Embrys :D But too bad i already sold you :D \m/ Woots!


HEHEHEHEHEHHE.


Lol no reason i just feel like laughing and giggling :D Ahhhhhhh! *rolls around on the bed* Weeeeeeeee! I feel like giving someone a veryyy biiigggg hugggg! :)))))


*rolls around some more*


Gosh im so hyperrr! Hahhahahaha. Okay okay stop it Sylvia! You're being very silly. But.... Who fucking caressss :DDDDD Nyehehehhehehehe! Okay okay enough for one post. My fish are dying. I have to go feed them. LOL. Such a LAME excuse :D \m/


2 more hours till im officially eighteen :) Legalismnity here i comeeee! :D *Okay i made up that word, dont bother googling that*


:D


I love you bitches, whores, gays and bastards!
xoxo

In 2 days

Its 2 days until i turn 18 and become officially LEGAL (: I cant believe im THAT old. And everyone knows i do not act like an eighteen year old should :/ Plus it sounds sooo old! But being eighteen isnt so bad i guess. I mean, I've gotten my license and all :D Okay okay I'll cut to the chase. The reason i posted this blog is because...


I GOT A NEW LAPTOP AND HANDPHONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!


:D


:D


:D


Yes, im typing all this on my new lappy. Muahahhahaha. And i feel like telling the whole world :D Im sooo happy! hahhahaha. *laughs histerically*



YAYYYYYYY! :D



Now all thats left is for dad to get me a car :) Which he said he would :) For my birthday :) I just dont know when yet :) LOL. Im not fussy about getting a car. Just give me an auto that moves, brakes and reverses. Done. As long as it takes me places :) You can go maaaany places with a car! :) Like to college, dance classes, shopping malls, friends' place, grandma's place, uncle's place, YOUR place 0:) hehehe. Just, not a Kancil. Please. God, pleaseeee.



Okay smiley overload. Im waaaay too excited. Heh :D


*pause*
-Okay wtf. My dog is humping my leg. *facepalm* I guess she's waaay excited too :/ Yeah, she's FEMALE. *double facepalm*



Anyway, i wanna thank daddy for getting me this lappy! :)))) And also my grandma, uncle Keith and Aunt Jaymee for getting me my new PINK phone! :)))) Yes, you heard, i mean, READ right -PINK! :D Muahahahhaa. I loveee it! Thanks guys :)


-Okay now she's humping my other leg -_- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BITCH? I wish Embrys was here :/ She loves humping Embrys :)) hehehhe GOSH. WTF. GET OFFFFFFF D: DUDEEEEE. HELP IM BEING RAPED. LOL HAHAHHAHAA. WTF. SHE IS NOT STOPPING! LOLOLOL. I love that bitch :)



Weeeee! Goodnight peeps! :D
xoxo

Nobody pays any attention to post titles anyway :D

Today i sang my heart out with some awesome people :D Went for a much needed karaoke session with Embrys, Ashok, FuWai, YanYang, VinZhen, and CheeZhao. We went right after school time. So most of them were in their school uniforms and they didnt allow us in :/ hmph. So we hopped into VinZhen's and CheeZhao's cars and drove to FuWai's place where Ashok & Embrys borrowed shirts to change. And then FuWai accidentally locked himself out of his house -.- *facepalm* LOL. Anyway we had a good time :) 3 hours of 'singing' heh :D Yeah, 'singing'. Lol. We all know Embrys and I cant sing. Actually all of us sucked pretty badly except for FuWai who could sing every single song there is. From chinese, to malay to English, from rapping to those fucking high unreachable notes. *respect* :) Had lots of fun, laughed my ass off, blatant flirting going on with Yanyang & Embrys *tsk tsk* 0:) You two need to get a room! Anyway it was nice getting to know them a lil bit better. In fact, we should do this every week :D heh. Im kidding lah dudes. Unless you really want to? :D

xoxo

Details, details :)

Hello hello :)


So i just woke up. And im feeling AWESOME!
Better than ever :)
All because of YOU mostly :)

hehehe


Surprisingly, im looking forward to the future. For the first time, excited on what may or may not happen. Its not about expecting good things or whatever to come, im just simply excited. :D Like a wayward hot air balloon. LOL.


I feel happy.
I feel free.
I feel positive.


Best of all, I've never felt more like ME. *two thumbs up*

:D


Another thing im looking forward to, LATIN BALLROOM CLASS TONIGHT :D \m/ Woots! Seriously, i need a partner :/ Anyone interested? :D


Which reminds me. Shit i need to practise! I have been neglecting latin for 2 weeks now. Due to my ballet exams. I miss wearing my heels! :') Oh and i need to practise my guitar as well. All those chords :O Not to mention i have 2 pieces to practice and prepare for piano. And also prepare for my piano theory exam this September. Speaking of September, i have Advance 1 RAD ballet exam o_o And college starts in July. Plus latin ballroom exam this June. o_o Damn i really have lotsa stuff to do! But it seems I've been doing nothing as usual :/ Not practicing. Heh. *slaps self* YOU NEED TO CHANGE WOMAN.



*grabs bro's guitar*



Now excuse me while i headbang (: Rockon!


xoxo

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for" -Bob Marley.

The silence keeps it easy
keeps you safe for the moment.
As you're walking away
your footsteps get louder.
All you needed was time
and now time will destroy us.

It will all be over and here we are
we're stuck inside this salted earth together.
You'll pierce my lungs.
My limbs go numb
as my colours fade out.

You watch me bleed, you watch me bleed.


- Scary Kids Scaring Kids, You Watch Me Bleed.


I love that song :) heh.


Today i went out.
Today i saw the sun.
Today i dressed nicely.
Today i wore a bra.
Today i combed my hair.
Today i wore eyeliner.
Today i didnt talk to myself out loud.
Today i smiled.
Today i laughed.
Today i gave hugs.
Today i was happy.

Today i am better. :)


xoxo

Choices.

I want to write a lot of things. But i deleted everything. Why? Because i realised there's no point. Nobody is listening. Why am i still fighting for this then? Because everything was my fault? Because i should? But whatever i do now, wont make a difference. So why bother. Give up? Nahh. Not me. Not for something like this.

All i can do now, is move on. Whether you move on without me, or with me, by me, its entirely up to you. But the longer you take, the clearer the answer becomes. Right now, i just want to heal.

Nothing else i can say

These past days,

I've been upset.
I've been down.
I've been happy.
I've been trying to convince myself that its fine.
I've been letting myself feel better.
I've been beating myself up.
I've been letting myself heal.
Just to tear the wound open over and over again.
Just so i could feel the pain.

But after today. After everything...



I feel numb.
I am speechless.
I dont know what to say anymore.
I dont know what else i can do.


Perhaps i deserved it.
Do what you think is right.
Right for you.
I can only start doing my part from now.
I have tried. I am sorry.


I didnt expect this.
I am numb.

"You dont have to believe me, just trust me." -quote.

One day one of us will sit up and realise that all this shit aint worth it. That mistakes happen. That nobody is perfect. That real love and real friendship never dies. One day, someone will break the silence. To choose to sit in the uncomfortable truth rather than with pretended hope that things will go back to the way they used to. That things will be the same. Because they never will. If things are always the same, how do we grow? And when we grow, how can we not change to fit our growth? What do we do? We adjust. We appreciate. We move on with our lives. Those left behind have given us memories and experiences. Treasures in a way. If you have really loved, really seek and posessed true friendship, there are no regrets. The bitter feelings will end. And you will find yourself again. One day, you will learn forgiveness. Then everything will be alright again. Not the same, it never will be. But everything will be alright.



One day, i hope you find it in yourself to truly forgive me. And one day, i hope i could also learn to forgive you.



This post is not directed to any specific person. It is inspired from a number of events that have transpired lately. And i hope we will all be alright again.


xoxo

nur für dich

And i could tell you
His favourite colours' black and blue
He makes me forget about the world
Yeah its true
To me, he's beautiful
He has light brown eyes
And if you asked me if i love him
I'd never lie :)

- based on Taylor Swift's I'd Lie.

HandshakesandHeartbreaksUK

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:DDDDD

One of my favourite songs ever :) This guy is goooood!

Add him on myspace!

www.myspace.com/handshakesandheartbreaksuk

:))))

I have no idea what his name is :)

Cute and talented! *thumbs up* :D

I got accepted!

Your Application For Foundation in Science.



Thank you for your application to study at the University of Nottingham in Malaysia.

This is to inform you that your application for the above-mentioned programme has been successful and you have been offered an unconditional offer to pursue the programme in July 2010.



Yes people! I have been accepted :) Which means i have a little over a month to enjoy my current freedom before i have to hit the books once again. Boohoo :/ Why in the world did i apply for foundation in science.. Gosh. I must be crazy. I'll have to do chemistrryyyyyy. Wtf. *facepalms* Oh well. I guess its time to nerd it up! Oversized glasses, heavy book bags and sweat pants *thumbs up* Yeah i could definitely see myself in that :) Heh.



*Something entirely unrelated to the post above* Stupid stupid stupidddd meee. Arghh. Thats it, im putting it on LOUD mode. >:(



xoxo!

Musings

I've been doing lots of thinking recently. About what is the 'acceptable thing' to do and about what you truly believed in. 3 months back, i would barely recognise myself. Whether you like it or not thats not my problem honestly. At first i was all wound up. Forcing planets to merge even though its impossible. But i believed. And till now i still believe. Maybe one day it will be possible.


I wore my heart on my sleeve. Thinking honesty is the best solution. And that was my first mistake. Because i realised not everyone agrees with your honesty. And when that happens what then is your defense? For i have thrown everything on the line. All of my defenses. Stupid, stupid thing to do.


Its not like i wanna hide anything from any of you. But i know you wont understand. Or maybe you just didnt give yourself a chance to try to understand. And i know if i told everyone the truth, it'll scare the hell out of them. So i settle with being subtle. Obscure. Vague. So in that way im not really lying, but im not telling the whole truth either. Because some things, you just have to keep to yourself. Just myself. Until of course i choose to tell you. Lol.


I cant write everything here. Because most of it is just too personal. And easily misunderstood. But right now im very happy with where im at. I have finally found that balance :) And im working hard to keep it. But i have no complaints. None at all. Cuz you are worth every effort. All of you. I hope what ive written isnt too obvious. I was just venting really. Thats all.


And so my question for you dear readers is,

Would you lie if you know he or she wont ever accept your truth? When your lie is more acceptable than any truth? Would you lie because it is the best thing to do? Really.


Think about it before you judge me.



"There are 2 kinds of secrets: those we keep from others and the ones we hide from ourselves"

-Frank


:)


xoxo

So what's next?

Visions of love
clouding your eyes
You're desperate to be loved.
And i'll take my hat off for you
If you could find that special trust.
Visions of angels
you're convinced
is the kind that you will get.
But everything isn't what they may seem
but dont stop believing yet.
Dont stop believing yet.



So I've finished my RAD Grade 8 Ballet exam! :D Woots! Overall was okaaay i guess. But i messed up my Movement Libre Dramatique a bit. Stupid scarf. Oh well, its all over now. Cant do much bout it. The examiner was Ms Cynthia Too. She looks kinda edgy and she has this 'serious look' the whole time :/ Hmm anyway, my grade 8 dances were:


Entre Polonaise
Etude Lyrique
Valse Printemps
Movement Libre Dramatique
Mazurka du Salon
Finale Polonaise


So after like 4 months, its goodbye Grade 8! :) And I'll be taking Advance 1 in September. Shit. :O


Currently listening to:

Moneen - There are a million reasons for why this may not work and just one good one for why it will.



Ps: I removed my music player from my blog because it was getting very annoying. And i was too lazy to keep updating the songs in the player so i removed it :D Harap maklum y'all! LOL



xoxo

Staring into spaces that I'd never reach

You have no idea. You really have no clue at all. Not one.


3 days and counting.



---------------------------------------------



Tomorrow's my RAD Grade 8 ballet exam. Damn :O I am nervous! Good luck to everyone taking the exam! After this, no more graded exams! Weeee


We can do it people! :D


xoxo

Ballet Exam!

Grade 8 ballet leotard with my awesome exam group :)

11th May 2010, Tuesday, 2.55pm.

Wish us luck! :)

xoxo

You are the only exception.

My new favourite song to fall asleep at night :)

HYPED UP WHOOSH :D ARE YA ARE YA ARE YA?

STUPID BAAAALLLLLSSSSSSSS.



D:



http://apps.facebook.com/mindjolt/games/bouncing-balls





PLAAAAAAAYYYYYY! I WILL BEAT YOUR SCORE D:







Oooh oooh!





ARE YA IN THE MOOD? :DD ARE YA? ARE YAAA? \m/





YO. YO. YO. YO.




:D:D:D:D



Last night, i was so freakin hyper. Sugar rush on Revive Isotonic :D *thumbs up* And right now im drinking Pepsi! Woots! So im sorta still in hyper mode although i just woke up :D




Songs that you must must must must listen:



Hollywood Undead - Undead
Madina Lake - Welcome to Oblivion
Theory of a Deadman - Bad Girlfriend
Mudvayne - Happy
Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding



*headbangs*



Seriously, try Hollywood Undead songs. FUCKING AWESOME! I swear >:D



Ballet class!
xoxo

Just because.

Because i trust. Because i hope. Because i believe.
Because i cant promise. Because i cant justify my actions.
Because love has no limits and i am the biggest fool.
Because i know deep down i have and am lost.
Because there is a huge, no, every part of me
that doesnt want it to end.
Looking past all logic and common sense,
I thought to myself.
So be it.




I am strong. But everyone has a weakness. And my biggest weakness might just change everything. Question is, will i let it? That answer belongs to me only. I'd keep that to myself.


Anyway, hello hello! It was such a relief to have let everything out. I owe my girls a lot. Everything. And i love them to death :) And im so sorry for every hurt i gave you all. :( That will never happen again. I hope you'll find it deep down to forgive me. Not only them, but also everyone else. I know i have not been myself. That sucks aint it? But im getting better. And i'll be back in no time :)


And Ive learnt not to wear your heart on your sleeves.


I love you bitches,
xoxo

Bitch therapy

Today i went out with my girls (: We went for Seventeen Magazine casting at BluInc. PJ. After that we stopped and chilled at Starbucks inside Borders in The Gardens KL. It was nice really :) Had a good time. I missed them so much. Laughed like idiots, sang in the train like idiots and talked loudly like we owned the place. \m/


All in all, a great day :)



I'll be seeing my bitches tomorrow as well. They're coming over for a sleepover at my place! :) And we're planning to wake up at 5am to climb Broga Hill. Nissa is bringing her DSLR >:) Nyehehehehe. More camwhoring sessions then. Love it love it love it. Movie marathons, guitar hero sessions, and probably some priceless lesbian moments :D


\m/ woots!


Cant wait :)

xoxo

Quote

"My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice and I wasn't going back on it."

- Twilight, (251)

Pep talk.

I already gave myself a pep talk. I should have stopped this by now. *push everything aside, smiles brightly*


And i know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray.

- Your Guardian Angel, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.



But I sorta dread tomorrow. Idk how its gonna turn out.


Anyway, im giving myself another pep talk today :) To prepare me for the night. Push away all other thoughts. But i cant erase the anxiousness i feel everytime :/ Perhaps i can subdue it for today? I doubt it. But thats not gonna be a problem. Right? *pep talking to myself* Lol.


*breaths in, breaths out, smiles*


:)



Im gonna get better at this.

xoxo