So trials are SO OVER :D Thank God. But now we have this gerak gempur to deal with?! WTF. It is completely POINTLESS i tell you! Why? Because the teachers have not finished marking even the trial papers and now there's more papers for them to mark. I dont think we'll be getting back our gerak gempur papers anytime soon. LOL. So anyway (:
Here's my Spm trial results so far. It definitely did not meet my expectations on Sejarah, Physics, Biology & not even BM. -_-
Moral: 85%, A1
Physics: 63% B4
Sejarah: 30%, G9 [God damn it i dont believe i failed! D:]
Biology, Paper 3 so far: 25/50 (Wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwwtf)
Chemistry: Paper 1 - 27/50. Paper 3 - 31/50
English: Paper 2 - 61/75 (Wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtwfwtfw)
BM: Paper 2 - 66/110 (Wtfwtfwtwfwtfwtwftwfwtfwtf)
Yeah so thats all the papers that i got for now. My marks seem to be getting worse and worse D: And worse still, Biology paper 2 was murder i tell you! The best student in the entire form only managed to get 29/60 for Bio paper 2 not counting the essay part. What the hell. Is there any hope for the rest of us then?? *sigh*
PLUS IM SLEEP DEPRIVED AND ITS MAKING ME CRANKY D:
I recently gained weight, 4 or 5 pounds i think. Damn. Hey when im stressed i eat! D: I know its a bad habit but im definitely gonna change it! So when im stressed, i exercise? (: HAH. We'll see. I already planned to put up a 'I AM FAT' sign on my ceiling above my bed. :D *Please do not feel offended* So that when i wake up in the morning thats the first thing i see (: Motivation people!
Im not encouraging people to go THINSPO or go ANA. That is just way too skinny! But i have a thought to share. Is Anorexia Nervosa really an illness, a mental illness or maybe its just a way of life? As in thats how we choose to live our life. Sometimes like on Saturdays i used to have intense cheerleading practices in the mornings then straight off to piano class at 12pm. Then rush off again to ballet which used to start at 3pm i think. And i dont take breakfast nor lunch (: And my ballet class will be till night time and it will be atleast 9pm before i get to eat anything. And you know what, i feel fabulous. I have the energy to do all that and it made me feel light and more active for some reason.
So maybe some people just like living without food? LOL. Already that sounds wrong (: HAHAHA. I mean come on! How can you deny your own rights to eat delicious mouth watering food like Satay, Rojak, Char Koay Teow, Rendang, Mamak, kuihmuih, chocolate cakes, apple crumble, pizza, KFC *salivates* :D' HAHAHA. Yeah once in a while i'll feel like skipping a few meals or so but definitely not so extreme as refusing to eat anything!
Recently i searched the web on PRO Anorexia Nervosa websites until it even brought me to some porno sexual services website WTF. Anyway so yeah they have all these crazy stuff to 'help' you become anorexic. Like picking a FRUIT OF THE DAY. An apple for instance. And it tells you to slice the apple into 8 equal portions. Then take 2 slices for breakfast, 2 slices for lunch then 2 slices for dinner. And the remaining 2 slices as a snack whenever you feel hungry. So basically you're fooling your body into thinking you had the usual 3 meals a day. And another 'tip' is to make sure whenever you do decide to eat, eat it infront of people so that they can see you are actually eating and it wont arouse suspicion. The website even encourages you to wear baggy clothes to hide your losing-weight body from people so no one will suspect a thing! D:
Seriously those websites should be banned. But there's something nagging at me in my mind. If we ban the websites does it mean we ban a whole way of life? Because i definitely believe Anorexia is more than just an illness. Anorexia is way different from the norm. We say EAT they say DONT EAT. Its something like believing in religion or not. Me, im a freethinker, an atheist if you will, and i DO NOT TOLERATE those condeming me for it. Oh man dont get me started on this :D Cuz if i do all your mothers will probably come to me covering your eyes and ears screaming DEVIL CHILD! D: LOLOLOL.
Anyway religion is the norm. And as of yet no one has enforced a rule that those who are non-believers must be burned at the stake or something. So are we really entitled to ban, close, eradicate Anorexia Nervosa from the people and all the thousands and thousands of websites? Do we really have the right to say: Your way of living is wrong and should be terminated! No we dont. We are all humans and we cant say for sure what is right and what is wrong. Its like some say drinking is bad while others celebrate it like the Germans celebrating Oktoberfest. :D There's no real right or wrong. So what can we do about this situation? We can just let them choose and not condemn them for it. Most Anorexics end up seeking treatment and those who dont usually die. Must we feel sorry for those who lost their lives due to Anorexia? Well i dont because its what they chose. No one 'deserves to die'. But when these people choose to become Anorexic they definitely know more than us what the consequences are and apparently accepted it. Yes some people dont merely 'choose' to become Anorexic. But then thats the responsibility of their peers and family to make things right and help her out. NOT US. We cannot ban Anorexia just like how we cannot ban Beer. Both can cause death. But its your own decision whether or not to live another way of life.
I give props to all those recovering alcoholics and recovering anorexics! (:
But then again when i made that statement does it mean i dont give props to non-believers like me?
Thin is beautiful?
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